Title: You for always
Pairing: Ohmiya / Sakuraiba (side)
Rating: PG 13
Summary: Upon his first year of high school, Nino remembers his best friend Satoshi and how his life used to be before he left him to face life on his own.
Pairing: Ohmiya / Sakuraiba (side)
Rating: PG 13
Summary: Upon his first year of high school, Nino remembers his best friend Satoshi and how his life used to be before he left him to face life on his own.
A/N: I tried to make this as fluffy as possible but angst always gets in the way. No worries though, happy ending I promise. I don't own them, sadly.
I wonder if it was too late to tell him anything back then, right before he left. There was so many things still stuck in my throat, trying to make their way out in my words, but I could never force them. I can't understand exactly how I thought of this things being so young but they were there, they were real. For me, at least. I wonder if Satoshi would have ever understood that.
Yes, his name was Satoshi. Ohno Satoshi. I wouldn't call him friend, and best friend doesn't cut it either. It's hard to explain. Truth is, I don't even know what to call it myself. I would ask him, but his not here with me anymore. The moment when I mostly need him. Well, to be exact, I say that all the time. Every moment of every day, I need him.
It's not been the same since he moved away. Things have changed around me. I have changed. And I'm not too sure if it was for the best.
Ok, I don't think I'm explaining myself too clearly here. Let me start over.
Ohno Satoshi was a pathetic-looking, dull eyed, chubby faced, piece of idiot. Yeah, that's much better. And he was my best friend? Again, I don't know what to call it. Let's just leave it this way for now.
I've known Satoshi since he was just a kid, and even as a kid, he was older than me. He told me himself most of the things I know about him. Well, either him or his mother.
For example, his mother told me he looked like a little girl as a baby, and that he always had those chubby cheeks of his ever since he was born. She showed me pictures too. Satoshi wore dresses in, approximately, 89% of the them. In the other 9% of the pictures, he wore nothing but dippers or was all nude. Even since birth he was an idiot.
Satoshi was... Well... what was it? There was only one thing that could describe him better than anything. Just one word. The sea.
Every since he was a child, he adored the ocean. His house was nowhere near it and it wasn't like his family would constantly go, but he loved it either way. Whenever he spoke about it, if he ever spoke at all, it was as if he were talking of his second home.
He loved everything about it, the sand, the salty air, the waves, the water, the fish. Specially the fish. As a kid, he couldn't play as well riding toy cars than how he really used his imagination to play with boats. Wearing that stupid shark dress his mother made for him, he would play around in his room imagining himself as a giant vegetarian shark. Yes vegetarian. He wouldn't want to eat the humans, he wanted the boats, or so that's how he use to explain why sharks kept munching the boat's wood in the movies he watched.
He was the kind of kid that instead of asking for a bicycle on his birthday, would ask for a fishing rod. If a kid like that even exist I mean. Whatever he would catch in that river near his house, he would put it on his little red bucket to bring it home, and after getting scolded each and every time by his mother, he would take it back to the water. In a way, this was only an excuse to have some more time catching fish at the river. He may have seemed stupid doing this each and every time, but in truth, Satoshi was a genius.
He would constantly be showing off his catches to the kids in the neighborhood and they would retort him and call him things.
"What a weird kid!" They would say.
"That's so boring." They would tell him.
But Satoshi never listened to them. He never surrendered into bullying, or maybe he never even knew the existence of such word. I did. Ever since grade school. Every day, I was reminded of if and how it would never cease to follow me. But not Satoshi. Satoshi had always been stronger than me. He thought all those insult were making him closer to the other kids, so he kept fishing and he kept showing him all the things he fished. When they pushed him around, he thought they were playing with him. When they threw things at him, he thought they were playing catch ball. That's how innocent Satoshi was. And he was never able to make a real friend.
His father would scold him for not having friends, but as far as I know, Satoshi was the kind of kid who could be left alone for eternity and never notice. He had far too much fun on his own than around people.
He would sometimes laugh alone, watching an internal television on his favorite show for hours on end. Don't ask me. I don't even know.
On other occasions, he would sleep endlessly. When his mother scolded him for sleeping so much, even when they were out, Satoshi trained himself until he learned to sleep with his eyes open. Yet there's a thin line between sleeping with his eyes open and just staring into the distance but not really looking at anything in particular as if his brain was shut dead.
That was what Satoshi usually did. It was no wonder why he wasn't the smartest in class.
When he went to his first year of high school, his parents interned him in a All-boys school. It wasn't his favorite place to be really, not like the sea shore of course, but he had no other choice. So being away from the coast really bumped him, which only fed on his introversion. But this wasn't all that pitiful.
Shortly enough a new addiction surfaced. Drawing. In the begging, all he ever did was draw Dragon Ball, but he got much more into it that he thought he would and he started making his own art, investing in materials, trying out paints and practicing with portraits. He created his own style. Drawing contrast art, graffiti, even fish. His talent was incomparable.
His parents would constantly worry about taking home the wrong child from the hospital when he was born. Nothing he ever did was like his parents nor his near family.
"Who's child are you?" They would constantly ask him.
"I'm your son." He would fire back, but in the end there was no way of knowing for sure.
In addition to his drawings, or more like, thanks to his drawings, he also met Sho-kun.
He was sort of stuck-up compared to Satoshi, but Sho really found his drawings the most fascinating thing in the world. So much that he decided to try out drawing himself, which resulted in a hoard of mocks from his classmates about his "artistic skills". That is how it was later discovered Sho-kun had a really short temper.
He became good friends with Satoshi. They shared almost everything. Satoshi even gifted one of his drawings to Sho-kun which he totally fell in love with, which sort of looked like he had a thing for Satoshi too. All-boy schools can really be a twisted world you know? But who knows? Sho may have not changed ever since then. Maybe not towards Satoshi anymore, but for a certain someone else. But, don't listen to me. I'm just rambling.
But enough of that, I am getting too ahead of myself here. I'm trying to talk about Satoshi. Satoshi, that kid that I met for the first time in elementary.
Well, it was not exactly at school. I was cursing the elementary the first time we met. I was only 7 back then, but I still remember most of it clearly. I met him for the first time in... Ok wait. I don't even have to say this. I think you can guess that all out by yourselves.
Yes, it was at a pool. I was taking private swimming classes there just like Satoshi was. He started taking lesson because his mother was worried that he would fall into the water while fishing and drown.
I was there too by my mother's insistence but for total different reasons. Even so, thanks to our obnoxious mothers and their motherly instincts, I met Satoshi. I can't think of a reason I've ever been more grateful to my mother for something before.
I don't think I remember how exactly was our first meeting? Or the first time we talked? Yeah, I know I said I remembered most of this clearly, but you know how memory is. One day you could be looking at someone and the next moment, you are friends with that someone for some reason. It was sort of like that for me and Satoshi.
He was three years older than me so we weren't in the same swimming category. I do remember I knew who he was even before talking to him. There was a kid in my class who knew everyone in the swimming academy so I guess he was the one who told me his name.
I don't know why, but back then, I use to look at him as my senpai. He was a great swimmer and I supposed I thought I wanted to swim like him too, but when I tried to imitate him, I drowned miserably. I remember most of the time, sensei had to take me out of the water several times coughing out water. So that's all I ever did there. Drink the pool.
Yeah, lessons pretty much sucked. I hated swimming, and even if Satoshi, in his own little class, the kid with the always sadden look who always looked like he was at the edge of tears, was my secret role model, I could never make him notice me. At leats I remember it wasn't that easy to get his attention. I wanted to be friends with him. Really, really badly. I was alone after all.
I guess my last straw was that day when some kids that had been bullying me there, (Yeah. Even there it followed me), "accidentally" pushed me to the deepest end of the pool and I fell right in, with no floaters or life preserver or sensei.
It took me several minutes to realize no one had noticed me fall in, and that I was going to drown, maybe for the last time, I hoped. And I remember how that only thought gave me some peace of mind. Again, I was only seven.
When someone finally managed to take me out of the water, I had swallowed too much. Luckily, they new CPR. The moment I regain consciousness, my mind quickly ran to machine who it was. A person that was definitely not sensei, from the advanced class that knew CPR. There was no one else to think about. More clearly, because he was also there, regaining his breath from having to give it to me, right beside my mother, who was sobbing and drenching me more than I already was, but in tears.
Me? I could only stare at Satoshi staring back at me. For several other seconds, my face became red tomato. What else could I do? Once again, I had failed at my attempt to erase a horrible mistake with an even bigger one. That wasn't my first kiss. But it wasn't the first time a boy had kissed me. The other one was with that dumb-ass Aiba in grade school, and it was totally his fault. It was like a curse that followed me. This time... I would have said it's my fault, but I wasn't seriously mad about it. I was just embarrassed, that's it.
So my mother, whom I loved very much, took me with her to the next lesson to tell sensei I was not going to attend class anymore. I remember how mother insisted for me to stay right next to her and not go close to the water. I followed her a little scared, but then I saw Satoshi, swimming freely on one side of the pool and I only thought of running off towards him to watch by the edge. I had no swimming suite, but my bullies weren't there so that was fine.
I lay down closer to the water to watch him swim and, of course he noticed me looking, but he just kept swimming. I thought that maybe, if that was my last time going there, I could still learn something from him by watching strongly enough.
I remember he came closer to the edge where I was looking to rest and I took that chance to tell him.
"I can't swim anymore." I said. And my eyes instantly watered.
I hated how much I couldn't be too honest with myself because of how my feelings will overflow.
Satoshi looked at me and said nothing for a second.
"That isn't fair." He said, his words piercing me more than what I would have ever expected them.
"If you can't swim then I can't swim either." And just like that, Satoshi got right out of the water.
"Now we both wont swim." He concluded.
I didn't know what to say. I could only stare at him with a shocked look wondering what he meant.
Instantly, Satoshi ran close to his mother and spoke to her loudly. Although I didn't knew what he was saying, I could only see how he pointed at me in the middle of their conversation.
The next moment, Satoshi came back to me and took hold of my hand to drag me all the way closer to his mother.
"You see, he can't swim and they wont let him swim, because they pushed him that day. And that is not fair, mommy." He whined.
"But what can I do about that, Satoshi?" Her mother cluelessly asked.
"If he can't swim, then I can't swim."
Satoshi was crazy even then.
I remember that time clearly. To my memory, it was probably the only time Satoshi seemed talkative, because every other moment I would see him, he never talked much. Yet I don't know why it feels like this wasn't the first time I talked to him. That's why I keep saying I don't exactly remember how I first met him.
My words back then seemed as if I had spoken to him before and I had that familiarity with him since ever. I guess I remember that occasion because it was the most memorable. But if that really was the first time we spoke, then ever since the beginning, I must have felt like I've known Satoshi for all my life.
I was able to meet him again because, through Satoshi's own insistence, he made it possible for us to meet again but this time in a public pool. The situation came to such extent that I thought I would never be able to see Satoshi without a swim suit. He must be a fish boy, I thought and damn it I was not wrong.
Our mothers exchanged numbers and for the longest time, Satoshi dedicated his efforts in teaching me how to swim.
He wasn't the best instructor. He was only 10 by the time so indeed it was a little pitiful to watch, but his energies didn't go in vain. I learned things, not everything, but I learned things about him too. So whenever someone asks me now, "Do you know how to swim?"
I say: "No."
Satoshi wasn't a certified teacher so I can't say I am certified on swimming. It's the truth. I'm not lying.
Anyway... Eventually, Satoshi and I started to get out of the pool when summer was over and we met whenever possible that wasn't the pool. We went to the park at times and played for hours on end. On school days, we use to sneak out before time to meet. We did everything together and we didn't do anything too exciting without the other. Satoshi became my best friend, my only friend. My escape from all those other kids that use to treat me unfairly. He was my one strength. With him, I felt I could do anything and everything. Instantly, we became inseparable, until the was no other choice than to separate us.
Satoshi was moving away. Something about his father's job. He wasn't too bumped about it though. He told me that same day he said he was going away that he trusted in me. That I was big enough. That I was strong enough. I knew he was lying, but I decided to never doubt him. He gifted me something. A certificate for good swimming, in colors and crayons. And just as proudly, he left me.
My mother says I cried the longest back then, but I don't remember a single thing about what happened with my life when Satoshi left. This feeling, it was like seeing my father leave my home again. But this time it was my best friend, my only friend, the one who left me. It was something I didn't wanted to keep in my memory, so I forced myself to forget it.
Of course I do remember I saw my father again, at family reunions and dinners, just like I spoke with Satoshi again through the phone, but this wasn't the same. I didn't wanted to see my father and I most definitely wanted to see Satoshi again.
I kept being bullied at school no matter what. I was some what a toy for them. I wanted to be strong though, for Satoshi. If he would have been there, he would have protected me, he would have fought for me and perhaps then I would have the strength to fight back. But Satoshi wasn't there anymore and all I could relay on was the words I heard from him through the phone every other night. Indeed I was weak.
This phone routine of ours lasted for as long as time permitted it, even when Satoshi's voice became somewhat unrecognizable. It grew deep and strange, almost as if it wasn't him, but I knew because he always talked about the same things; his boring All-boy school, his mother, Sho-kun and of course, fishing.
I hate to admit but it bothered me for some times, that he only talked about this. About Sho-kun. He seemed to be his only friend, but I couldn't stand the idea of people growing closer with Satoshi while I was there holding in to the little signal of his voice through the phone. It was not like I really mentioned Aiba-kun or Jun-kun all the time. Whenever I had to, I talked about them, but it was not like Satoshi really knew them to understand what I said about them. Even so, I don't think Satoshi was able to read through that in this case. He talked about Sho-kun to me as if I we were all good friends.
I felt mad at Satoshi whenever he mentioned him, whenever he spoke about him, whenever he told me about the things he had done with him. I couldn't help it. I missed my friend. And I wanted to make up for that time that I had spent away from him.
We planned to meet again, damn we really did plan, but the circumstances never made it possible for us. Homework, family, money, time, everything was an obstacle. It was as if destiny was playing it's meanest squeems on me. It hated me. The world actually hated me. But I hated myself even more for not being able to face things on my own.
That is when I snapped. One day at school, some bullies had broken a leg of my chair so I had to miss the first minutes of class in order to look for a new one. When the period was over, the bullies went to play out in the hallways and when they returned, all of their chairs had it's legs twisted and broken. They whinnied to the teacher about it and blamed me. The teacher never believed them and so they were all taken to the office. As they exited the classroom, I flashed a grin at them, one that they swore to themselves never to see again.
Shortly enough, those same bullies followed me on my way out from school. They drew me into a corner and beat me up because of it. That was the first fight I ever fought back. I broke a kid's arm. I felt good about it. I made myself seem tough in front of them and I never returned to show my weaknesses again.
I became that person. I was the kid no one wanted to mess with. I was the joker whom would sneak around the bullies. The obnoxious existence in the classroom. In was a prankster. The brat. It took me years to realize it but, in the end, I became the bully.
I never told Satoshi about this, he would have yelled at me, I know it. But I needed to be like this. I wanted to build that reputation that no one could take down. Soon enough, my classmates grew fear on me and they learned to never laugh at me, because they all knew what I was capable of.
A small fight before that was what forced my mother to make me switch schools.
In first year of high school, my mother surprised me with a gift, or so she said. She was exchanging me to another school. It was somehow far off from home and I had to take the train to school for the first time.
"Why bother? It's going to be far any way." I said, not very enthusiastic about it.
"Then maybe something else will change your mind about it." My mother said, very sneaky.
"What's that?" I asked, expecting her to tell me right away, but she only took her sweet time.
"Hmm... Why don't you find out for yourself and go?"
My mother wanted to rip the guts out of me. I could only stand her kidding for a certain extent, but make me this anxious about something was not funny. She really knew how to tick me off.
So I did as she told me and went to that high school against my own will, only drawn by curiosity. Just by arriving to the school gate, I could see kids from my previous school, looking at me. Judging me. Pointing at me. Dragging their friends to get away from me. I knew what was coming. It was the same. Always. But somehow I didn't care about it either. If I had to be tough again this year, I would do it. I was not afraid. I was not scared anymore. I wasn't that little weak kid they use to push around and mock or steal things from his locker. It was not like that anymore. I was stronger now. I have changed. Perhaps not the way I always wanted but it was the change I needed. Nothing, ever, was going to make me think twice over it again.
At the school assembly it was the same. All the students standing in the lines beside me would look at me over their shoulder, but I would only held my chin high, not letting their looks get to me. I would have fought anyone on the first day without a problem. But that was not the case here.
The school principal was talking for long minutes up in the stage before he said a new student had a message to read to us. I thought of it boring so I put not much mind into it, until I heard the name of the student. Sakurai Sho. My body cringed by just the sound of his name. How come I still remembered it clearly back then? I thought I had decide not let it get to me, but it seemed like I was no good at pretending things.
Apparently, this Sho was the son of a important politician, but was this any reason to make us listen to him? I was just about to look over the kid, when my eyes fall on the figure standing right beside him in the stage.
It couldn't be, right? That wasn't him. It didn't looked like the Satoshi I remembered. He wasn't that pathetic-looking, dull eyed, chubby faced, piece of idiot I always remembered. He was a pathetic-looking, dull eyed, chubby faced, high school student. I tried to convince myself that it wasn't him. I repeated it to myself in my head as many times as I could, but my heart was pounding against my chest so loudly and roughly I couldn't even hear myself think. My heart beats started to hurt, my sight became blurry, right before I realised Satoshi was looking straight at me. Out of all the students who's faces were lost in the crowd and lines of students spread out throughout the assembly, Satoshi's eyes lay on me.
Something must have went wrong. The next thing I now, my sight goes to a total black and all I remembered feeling is how my body came in contact with the floor. My senses could pick up just little details of what happened around me, like how Sho's speech was interrupted by a crowd of students gasping and later proceeding to murmur to each other, breaking the order the teacher had so well established.
After that, I don't remember as much. Only when I woke up back in the nurse's office, laying on one of those white beds. I seemed to be alone before the reincarnation of my nightmares appeared right before my eyes. It was Aiba Masaki, my all time childhood friend. I thought I had left him behind two schools ago.
"You're finally up!" he cheered. I must have really hit myself in the head to ever imagine seeing him here.
He seemed to be in charge of the nurse's office while the nurse had gone to the faculty. And he wasn't alone either. Matsumoto Jun was there too. Seeing them here again, it only made me realize how ignorant I had been for leaving them behind. But still, the one I needed to see was not there.
"Where is he?" I asked without meaning to ask. I wanted to say something else. I wanted to comment something, perhaps on Aiba or how annoying his voice still was, but this is what came out of me instead.
"Calm down, Nino. You shouldn't be pushing yourself too hard." said Jun, not even allowing me to sit up from the bed.
"Shut up!" I brushed him off. "I'm fine. Just leave me alone."
Jun's hands instantly took distance, as I insisted. He looked back at Aiba. I've forgotten they didn't knew about me like this. They didn't know about the present me because I hadn't have time to explain.
"Just..." my words were heavy, still unreal on my throat. "Where is Satoshi?"
"Who?" asks Aiba.
That's right. They didn't knew about Satoshi. I've been friends with Satoshi for so long I thought he was part of my life, just as everything else was. I thought he was part of everything. Maybe even came to think in an extent Satoshi's existence came along with mine.
"Forget it." I pushed them off and got on my feet.
"Nino! You have to wait for the nurse!" said Aiba as I headed to the door.
"I don't give a damn. Just leave me alone." my hands swifts the door wide open and instantly my eyes are trapped on those familiar ones.
I felt how my body jerked back, regretting the words that have come out of my mouth just instants ago, my senses frozen under him.
Satoshi was there. He was really there. He was real. It wasn't just an illusion. It wasn't a dream. Who I had seen up in that stage back at the assembly was now standing only centimeters away from me.
My eyes are stuck right at his. For a moment, all I see is him. But then that image blurs. It's not that I was fainting. This time something cold runs down my cheeks. Each second that goes by without him saying a word, my eyes water even more. Until I can't stand it anymore.
My hand lands across his cheek as I break into a sob. This was the only way I could release that anger building inside of me. Yet I was ashamed. To be seen like this by Satoshi even if he deserved it. I couldn't help feel sorry right after. So I shove myself into his arms, embracing my friend. My best friend. After so many years.
His actions are a bit hesitant. His probably lost as always. That idiot. His brain signal must be having troubles still registering that I had hit him. But this doesn't offend me as much. After all, it was Satoshi. I had missed his idiot-ness for so long, it would have been the last thing to bother me at the moment.
For the remaining hours of our day, which weren't a lot even though we skipped out in some periods, I stayed close by Satoshi. I had nothing to say. I just wanted to stay close to him, where I could see him. Where I could make sure he wouldn't leave me again.
Satoshi never bothered. Even when I pulled on his shirt to take a hold of him, or took grab of his entire arm, he let me be. I can't really say what crosses Satoshi's head most of the time, but I knew he was okay with this. If not he would have told me to stop. But I knew him far too much to doubt he ever did. He too was as clingy to me as possible. We couldn't waste another second away from each other. It had been enough years to conclude we were both sick of it. And that same amount of years, where I almost forgot who I use to be, meant nothing to me now.
We were eventually interrupted though, and not the way I expected.
"Nino, this is Sho-kun! You remember Sho-kun, no?" Ohno was very enthusiastic about me meeting Sho. Me? Not too happy about it.
Sho looked a little better up close though. Yet, for being the son of a politician, he looked sort of...pathetic.
"Ninomiya-san! It's nice meeting you. Ohno-kun has told me all about you." he said.
Good to know. I forced a grin.
"Same here." I hoped I didn't sound too sarcastic.
Sho was in Ohno's same classroom, as expected, but I tried to not let it bother me. Not when I could do something about it. Although in the end, I think things worked out better then expected.
You see, when it was my turn to introduce my friends to Sho and Satoshi, I sort of noticed something. Something that kept me plotting for several days after. Aiba-san was starring at Sho. Like really, really starring. Like he couldn't stop starring. Like he really really did one heck of a stare. Okay, you get the point, right?
After that, everything else was taken care of. I could careless. Now that what I lost had been given back to me, I had no other worry to carry over my shoulders. Except maybe the fact that Sho, Aiba and Jun were hanging around us almost all the time. It had to bother me at first, of course, but in the end, Satoshi didn't bothered it and I had to relate to it as well. I got along with Sho eventually once I discovered he was easy to annoy, and it was always fun to see how Aiba stud up to defend him. We had our fun. I couldn't have been happier, with Satoshi with me, I was myself again.
Trouble followed me. That day it followed me after school, after I had left Satoshi take his way home. It followed me to the back of the school and beat me up. I did little to defend myself. I don't know what was restraining my limbs from taking a stand. All I did was roll in the dirt until they got sick of me. Until the were worn out of kicking me. They left and even then I couldn't tell my feet to lift me up. They had forgotten how to obey me, and all because I wasn't who I was back then, when I had the guts to at least stand for myself.
And that sole reminder was what made me feel pathetic again. Then it was not my feet who didn't want to lift me up, but my eyes who wouldn't stop tearing up.
I heard foot steps coming closer behind me. Unmistakable foot steps that dragged themselves to stand above me. I tried to not make a sound, even when my tears wouldn't stop streaming. I swallowed hard, trying to regain my voice because I knew far too well he wasn't going to say anything first.
"For how long have you been standing there?" I forced myself to say, even when my voice broke. There was no use trying to hide under the dirt now. Not when Satoshi had seen it, who I've become.
Yet his hands take a grab at me and pull me up to my feet. His impulse forces me to stand, and my limbs magically respond to him.
"Always." he says.
And I cry again. It was not until now that I realized how weak I was, how weak Satoshi made me. It was because of him, standing behind me, that I wouldn't let myself become that person again. So instead of feeling mad that he never said anything, instead of blaming him for making me that weak, I felt happy. I was happy I didn't have to be that person ever again, because I knew Satoshi would never permit it. I knew he was never going to leave my side and that I would never leave his because it was the only place that I really felt safe.
Satoshi walked me home. I felt thankful, because I didn't wanted to leave him again. It was better if he saw me off instead. I've been seeing him leave me for for too long. Yet I didn't necessarily had to leave him just like that.
After all Satoshi had thought me, I still remembered how I learn CPR. So I returned him the favor. Not for any reason in particular. He wasn't drowning or anything. I just... felt like it. He stood there for a while before he said anything though, senselessly. Again his antenna wasn't working. I was afraid I almost had to do it again to make sure he had received the signal, but he got it eventually.
After all that time, I thought I didn't knew what Satoshi was thinking, but I saw it clearly in his flushed chubby cheeks just then.
Satoshi... I wouldn't replace him for anything in the world. I will always follow him wherever he goes. Even in his silence, I will always listen. And most importantly, I will never let him go.
... This is embarrassing. I'm getting too ahead of myself. All that pool water must have really affected me in the end. Just forget I said anything. Besides, nothing I ever say would come out as okay as saying I love him or anything.
A/N: Thank you for reading! I would love to hear your comments! As always, I hope you enjoyed!
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